KAREN CARPENTER: TORTURED SUPERSTAR

Staying on the Barbie theme (after yesterday’s post about the ban in Iran), one of the most unusual uses of the Mattel dolls was for Todd Hayne’s highly idiosyncratic 1987 bio-pic  Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story.

One of my guilty musical pleasures is that I love the songs of The Carpenters. I know that they are the height of kitsch and in many ways reflect the banality of light entertainment but I am always struck by a subtext of sadness beneath the supposedly H-A-P-P-Y veneer of their tunes.

“What I’ve got they used to call the blues”, sings Karen in my favourite song Rainy Days And Mondays composed in 1971 by  Roger Nichols and Paul Williams. With a different arrangement this tune would make very dark folk ballad.

Karen’s voice and phrasing was both natural and genuine, managing to give even the most saccharine of lyrics an emotional resonance.

THE MORALITY OF BARBIE

Iran's alternative to Ken and Barbie : Dara and Sara

The Barbie ban as reported in Time magazine refers to the news that the Iranian ‘morality police’ are engaged in a ‘soft war’ against those Western values they fear will lead to young girls getting ideas above their station in life.

This means that they want to stamp out anything that gives women any notion that they can be anything more than chattels to the men.

Heinous as this is, there is also something ironic about them targeting Barbies since feminists in the so-called ‘free’ west have  also cited these dolls for their  “destructive cultural and social consequences”. 

VICTORIA SILVSTEDT: A PLASTIC LIFE

Life in plastic – it’s fantastic!

Spare a thought for Victoria Silvstedt .

She looks like a six foot Barbie doll with the brains to match – “I’m a bit goofy” she admits .

She has curves in all the right places and says she has worked her ass off to get where she is today.

She had the  ’glory’ of being nominated as Playboy’s Playmate of the Year in 1997, but so far as her acting and singing ambitions are concerned things are a bit flat.

Hugh Hefner wanted her to change her name to Victoria Silver but she refused on the grounds that it made her sound like a porn star! Perish the thought!

So, she prefers to prostitute herself on the ‘glamour’ scene instead , making the most of things before the signs of ageing start to show and the boobs start to sag.

She is always typecast as just another pretty dumb blonde. Que sorpresa!  Let’s be frank, there are certain parts of her that are more famous than others. But she has hidden talents. The problem is no-one knows what they are because they are so well hidden . Not even she knows. She can dance and sing ..a little……has tried to design lingerie…..she can pout to order ……