THE LAST WINTER directed by Larry Fassenden (US, 2006)

He died with his boots on. Ed, about to meet his comeuppance.

The Last Winter is a  dumb climate change horror/disaster movie with malevolent nature getting its revenge against mankind.

North Industries are out drilling oil  in a remote  Alaska base  and Ed Pollack is head of the team.  Having him as the leader is a disaster in itself even before all manner of crazy shit starts happening.

This is a quite preposterous performance from the cartoonesque Ron (Hellboy) Perlman as Pollack. He’s a macho maverick  who is not interested in following rules or any of that “global warming bullshit” . He spends the whole movie barking orders and telling everyone they need “an attitude adjustment”.

Environmental campaigner James Hoffman (James LeGros) realises the temperature is rising at an alarming rate. This is melting the tundra and releasing some long dormant evil spirits which look like  a cross between big rabbits and ghostly dinosaurs.

The cast dutifully  spell out the inconvenient truth as if reading aloud from a copy of  ‘Environmental Destruction for Dummies’ and for good measure there’s a pointless love triangle involving Abby (Connie Britton) .

God alone knows why I decided to start watching this crap and I don’t know how I stuck it until the end.

The intellectual level is summed up by this selection of crass lines:

“Staying here is bullshit ……………. and dangerous”

“It’s cold out here”

“I want your boots!  I’m in charge here and that’s the decision”

“We could die out here”

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