When I die, I want Bill Wells and Aidan Moffatt to bury me.

THE COPPER TOP (from the album Everything’s Getting Older – Chemikal Underground Records) is a song that stopped me in my tracks today and made me cry.

Sad and beautiful but also honest through the blackness of its humour.


The bar’s busier than it should be on a weekday afternoon as the door swings shut behind me, but I’m the only one wearing a suit. No-one seems to notice my entrance though, I suppose they must be used to mourners in the nearest pub to the crematorium. I don’t think I could’ve coped with the wake, I had to make a quick exit to be alone with my memories, I was sick of hearing everyone else’s. I buy a pint and sit down.

‘See, the trouble with you is that you’re top heavy,’ said the tailor as he measured me up. They don’t get asked much for three-piece suits these days, so my choice was limited. I went for all-purpose black, or ‘charcoal grey’ as he called it. Looks black to me. This is the second time I’ve worn it, the first was a wedding and there’s a christening next week so I might as well get my money’s worth. Birth, love and death: the only reasons to get dressed up. I loosen my tie.

Halfway through my pint and a text message from John says he’s waiting outside, sooner than I’d expected. I down what’s left and step out into the bright afternoon and get in the car. I look up and see the pub’s once brilliant copper roof has oxidized over the years and it’s now a dull, pastel green. Everything’s getting older.

Related link:
Aidan Moffatt’s agony uncle column in The Quietus.

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